Friday, November 13, 2009

We Are Thankful

Ok, so the sign actually says Thanful.. without the "k". If you know me then you know I have a SERIOUS editing problem. The problem is... I simple don't do it. So kill me. Whatever. I decided I am going to leave it up there because I am thankful that I can laugh at myself.
ANYWAY..... I had the boys tell me what they were thankful for. They drew on the leaves while I wrote down what they said.

Owens thankful for:
"papa to go to work so he can pay for us" LOL!
the fire things
a crab
our grandpa
cool guns
being all done
our beds
Coconuts (his favorite word)
'Ikawai's shoes
sleeping at Grandma's
this project
fireworks (yes he said this twice)
sleeping in papa's truck
playing with brother
when it's light
Being all done (yes he said this twice)

Nifae's Thankful for:
Nick Jr.
Our family and Trees
Ms Provost
Shirts, pants and underwear
huggies (not the diapers~ hugs)
The street signs
TV and school
Cuddling up with my papa
our family
our kitchen
our mom
feeding the ducks
playing outside
our seats, steering wheel and our car
playing on the computer at school.

If I had to name a few things I would say...
I am thankful for the big ones~ family, gospel, Chirst, health, etc.
But I am also thankful for indoor pluming and fun treasures from Sally Beauty Supply.
For scrapbook paper and kids naps.
For comfy pillows and for food in my fridge.
I'm thankful for a calling and for good friends.
For a husband that cooks and kids that are cute.
I am thankful when stupid things remind me of good times and when good times remind me that I like my life.
I am thankful to many many many things but this post is TOO long so I will just say... ditto to my boys!

The many faces of Ma'a

It's true... I am related to this boy... but though marriage. LOL
:0 Love you Ma'a!

Lilia VS. Chocolate Milk

This particular day was a rough one for our washing machine.
Believe it or not, this was outfit #3. She was 3-0 or 0-3. I can never tell.

So fresh and so clean... clean.

Ms. Ashley

She's a good little teacher. She always has my kids preforming some sorta something. She reminds me of my sister Carrie who had us all lined up doing something. My boys love to follow her lead.. for the most part.
I wish I could remember what song they were preforming, or maybe it was a poem. I can't remember but I know it was dang cute.
A girl after my own heart. She loves to do hair. I like to mess with peoples hair too and I love when I find somebody that will let me do whatever I want. Looks like Nifae is just that person.
Thanks Ashley for being the Big Sister they never had!

Mommy guilt

I have been having a bout of Mommy Guilt these past few days.
I just found these pics on my phone and they made me feel a little sad. Not because they are sad pictures but because I see my son and what a very good boy he is, with so much happiness in him and.....
sometimes I am too busy to relish in it. Sometimes I am not busy at all but I act that way towards him because I want to focus on other things.
Lately I have been rushing Nifae a lot. He helps me immensely around the house. I am always having him fetch different things. A towel for the baby. My cell phone that is ringing in the other room.
He is so good and sprint though the house at my every beck and call. It seems I am always hurrying him along.
Hurry to lunch, hurry to eat, hurry to clean up, hurry for prayer, hurry to bed. I feel like I am always rushing him. He's not really a major dodder. I mean he is 5 so he has his handful of moments but for the most part he is on it.
Another guilt inducing thing for me is the whole... what-fire-to-put-out -first thing.
With a baby in the house her needs naturally come first. Owen needs came after hers and then Nifae's come after that.
At times he expresses his frustration. He is so good to hear me out and he understands why things happen the way they do. He does really well if things are properly explained to him.

He is the first born so I feel like it is his calling to be a leader and a hard worker. I always say that I want my kids to be hard workers. I think that is why I am the way I am with him. But sometimes I feel guilt about it. It's hard to teach your kids things. I would much rather be a fun kick back mom who if best friends with their kids. But if I were I would not be giving my kids the gifts I want to give them. Its a balancing act. Right now I have wobbly ankles. That's just a raw honest feeling coming from a mom with lofty goals but a tender heart. My family has always said I am too sensitive and my husband totally concurs.
Hey, I am the baby of my family so I think that comes with my birth right also.... RIGHT????

In the mist of all my teachings and guilt, Nifae continues to love me unconditionally. Even when I am grouchy and short with him. He shovels his love onto me.
I really just need to write down how much I love him and hope I am doing the best for him.
I hope he never doubts my love and loyalty to him. When I see pictures like these I wonder if I hug him enough or tell him how much he means to me. I hope I tell him how smart he is and what a good little worker he is. I hope he knows that I hurt when he hurts even when I don't show it.

I can't begin to imagine how our Father in Heaven sent his only begotten Son here to do what He did for us. Here
So much responsibilities fall on a first born son. A son that is so good an pure.

I hope while I try to balance teaching my son life's lessons and values that I am also taking care of his emotional needs. It's been a lot of laughs but a lot of tears over the past 5 years, 2 months, 17 days and 3hours of raising this boy we named Nifae.
It's hard being a mom. It's really really hard.

I Love you, Nifae!!!!!! I will ALWAYS ALWAYS love you!